Unsettled.

I’ve been off lately. Unsettled. Between COVID-19, multiple health issues in our extended family, and my oldest daughter’s fast approaching wedding, I have not felt as grounded as a sometimes do. Unfortunately, my emotions tend to come out sideways and in ways that I do not intend. Consistent with my personality style, when I am feeling off-center, I tend to resort to anger–toward myself, others, and the universe. I am usually too constrained for it to come out as rage. Rather, it comes out as irritation, resentment, audible sighs, or a critical spirit. My friend and pastor had the courage to point this out to me recently and it has been eye opening.

Maybe you’ve felt unsettled too. The idea that we are living in the midst of a pandemic is unsettling. Perhaps like me, the churning waters within and without lead to anger. Maybe for you, it comes out as fear, flattery, or withdrawal. Pay attention to those emotional responses. They are great teachers if we will listen.

Running parallel to my unsettledness has been a desire to understand what it looks like to love well in the midst of chaos. Specifically, what does it look like to love up, down, in, and out? I haven’t come to any firm conclusions, but I do have a lot of questions. How do I understand what it looks like to love God and experience God’s love for me when I feel unsteady? How can I use this time to grow in self-knowledge and self-compassion? What passions arise within me and how well do they align with who I want to be? How do I grow in grace toward others when we are encouraged to keep our distance or when we observe them behaving in obviously self-centered ways? How do I understand my role as a global citizen and a steward of creation? How can I foster truth, goodness, and beauty when so much seems broken?

Again, I don’t have clear answers, but these are the sorts of things I think about. Maybe you are too. It is good and important for us to consider how to be beacons of light when so much seems dark.

Notes from the Upper Room

I am very happy to announce that my most recent book, Notes from the Upper Room: Lessons in Loving Like Jesus, is available through Amazon in either paperback or e-book.

From the Back Cover:
John 13 to 17, often referred to as the “Upper Room Discourse,” provides John’s narrative of the disciples’ last meal with Jesus. There is no place in the Bible where a single conversation is so carefully recounted, making up nearly one-fifth of John’s Gospel. In Notes from the Upper Room: Lesson in Loving Like Jesus, you are invited to listen in on their conversation, and learn what it means to love like Jesus. From the very first verse of John 13 and the very last verse of John 17, love was the recurrent them. Jesus showed love for his disciples by washing their feet. He taught them about what real love looked like and how he wanted them to put love into practice. In his longest recorded prayer, John 17, he prayed that they would love one another in the same way that the he and the Father loved one another. We were created for relationship, with God and one another. In Notes from the Upper Room, you will learn about loving and relating in the manner of Jesus. Climb the steps, take a look around, and have a seat.

“Jason’s gracious and wise perspective on the Upper Room discourse strikes at the heart of the Gospel, with a hard-to-find balance of depth and accessibility. He applies the love of Jesus to the tensions of our brokenness with great care and empathy. This is an extremely encouraging and uplifting book, and one that I highly recommend you read.”-Chris Wheeler, author of Solace

“If you’re hungry for a biblically centered understanding of both the difficulties and the possibilities of actually putting the love of Jesus on display by how you relate to your spouse, children, friends, and co-workers, Notes from the Upper Room sets the table with a tasty meal. In a strong, clear, and gentle voice, Jason speaks to the crucial value of Trinitarian theology for living the relationally loving life we were designed and equipped to live. This a book well worth reading.”—Larry Crabb, Psychologist and author of When God’s Ways Make No Sense

Here are several ways you could support this project:
1) Please consider purchasing a copy either through Amazon or directly from me and reading it. Books also make great gifts.
2) If you found the book beneficial, would you consider leaving a review on Amazon and, if you use it, Goodreads? Reviews are very helpful to authors.
3) Consider following my blog through WordPress or subscribing by email.
4) If you email me at jasonkanz (at) yahoo (dot) com, I will send you a free PDF of 129 devotionals I wrote based upon John 13 to 17 as well. If the Lessons in Loving Like Jesus is a finely cooked steak, the devotionals are steak bites–the same meat, prepared differently. The devotionals will also be available in a paperback version through Amazon.
5) Stay in touch. Let me know what stirs for you as you read the book.

Go out and love like Jesus.

Notes from the Upper Room

I am really excited to let you know that my third book, Notes from the Upper Room: Lessons in Loving Like Jesus, will be out in the next few weeks, just in time for Easter. This book grew from a desire to understand what Jesus believed was important to tell his disciples during their last night together before he went to the cross.

John 13 to 17, often referred to as the “Upper Room Discourse,” provides John’s narrative of the disciples’ last meal with Jesus. There is no place in the Bible where a single conversation is so carefully recounted, making up nearly one-fifth of John’s Gospel. In Notes from the Upper Room, you are invited to listen in on their conversation, and learn what it means to love like Jesus.

Authors Chris Wheeler and Larry Crabb had this to say:

Jason’s gracious and wise perspective on the Upper Room discourse strikes at the heart of the Gospel, with a hard-to-find balance of depth and accessibility. He applies the love of Jesus to the tensions of our brokenness with great care and empathy. This is an extremely encouraging and uplifting book, and one that I highly recommend you read.-Chris Wheeler, author of Solace

If you’re hungry for a biblically centered understanding of both the difficulties and the possibilities of actually putting the love of Jesus on display by how you relate to your spouse, children, friends, and co-workers, Notes from the Upper Room sets the table with a tasty meal. In a strong, clear, and gentle voice, Jason speaks to the crucial value of trinitarian theology for living the relationally loving life we were designed and equipped to live. This a book well worth reading.—Larry Crabb, Psychologist and author of When God’s Ways Make No Sense

Paper Love

Love sounds good
on paper
but paper love
is too easily
crumpled, torn, and burned.

True love
comes from
a more primitive place
not bright white smoothness
eight point five by eleven,
but from an ancient seed
blown to the ground
and buried in death
that transforms into
something greater
Always reaching for the light,
though daily assailed
by gales
or scorching sun
Perhaps not comforting,
but necessary.

John 15:17

“These things I command you, so that you will love one another.”-John 15:17

Sometimes the commandments of God feel like impossible burdens. When we think about the Ten Commandments or about Jesus’s commands for how to live, we may have several different reactions. We may feel a sense of shame or powerlessness over our inability to meet his expectations. For example, we know that God said not to burn with desire for the things other people have, yet we covet every day and then we feel ashamed because we do not measure up and we fear God’s judgment. Maybe we see God’s commandments as arbitrary tests of faith. Perhaps they seem utterly irrelevant to our lives.

But here is the truth: the purpose of God’s commands is to instruct us on how to live a life of love. God is love. Everything…everything…he does flows from love. He wants us to love like he does, but he does not expect us to figure it out on our own.

Do you want to love well? Here’s a start. Don’t kill people. In fact, don’t even speak poorly about them. Don’t lie about other people. Instead, tell the truth. Build others up. Don’t demand service from others, rather serve them, and especially those who don’t have a lot. Let all that you do be done in love.

Jesus, your commands are not meant to be a burden, but to show me how to live a loving life. Help me to see that the commandments are not indictments of your judgment against me, but instead are maps for the journey to becoming love. Amen.

John 15:13

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”-John 15:13

Jesus expanded upon the meaning of true love. His love was one of service to others and seeking the best for them, which is the life he has called each of us to live. He said that the greatest love comes from a willingness to lay down one’s life for others. He was less than 24 hours from the cross where he would willingly offer this ultimate sacrifice for his friends. Greater love indeed.

Loving others may involve real sacrifice, not merely mild discomfort. Through the last two millennia, many Christians have died for their faith, which has served to extend the kingdom of God. Tertullian, the early church father, said, “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.” Even if we are not called to die for our faith, we are asked to daily lay down our lives.

Jesus, help me to never lose sight of the beauty of your crucifixion, the ultimate act of self-denial. You died so that I might live. Teach me to live in such a way that I lay my self-centeredness at the foot of the cross and live to love others fully. Amen.

John 13:36

Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus answered him, “Where I am going, you cannot follow me now, but you will follow me afterward.” -John 13:36

Jesus had given his disciples his crucial command, to love as he loved. He wanted them to practice love after he left. Peter was not trying work out the nuances of Jesus’s command; he was worried about where his friend was going. Peter could not have cared less about theology at the moment, he cared that his friend was leaving. Jesus was not an abstract concept to Peter; he was flesh and blood. Jesus was Peter’s best friend.

Without giving away the next several hours completely, Jesus told Peter, “I have to go this alone my friend. As hard as it is to understand, I must go by myself.” Like Peter, I think we can miss the importance of isolation to Jesus’s mission. He would go to the cross feeling isolated from his friends and his Father. As excruciating as the cross was physically, the relational isolation would be far worse.

Jesus also knew that Peter would spend his life for the sake of the kingdom, not yet, but after. Jesus called his followers to come after him regardless of what pain the journey would bring. For some, it was martyrdom; for some it was rejection.

We each must grapple with the interplay between right understanding and right relationship. It can be good for us to understand theological nuances, but we cannot dissociate theology from our relationship with him.

Prayer
Jesus, your words in John’s gospel are so powerful. You called us to lives of love with your words, yet by your life and death, you also showed us how to love. Help us to listen to you and love like you. Amen.

John 13:35

“By this, all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”-John 13:35

Verse 35 is continuation of verse 34. Francis Schaeffer wrote some of the most amazing pages about these two verses in The Mark of the Christian (1970). Following Jesus, Schaeffer said how we carry out Jesus’s commandment is the key criterion by which the world may know what Christianity is all about.

We often assume that people make their determinations about the truth of the faith based upon well-reasoned apologetics, culturally relevant messages, or great facilities (or shabby facilities). We stress secondary issues and we miss the main point.

These other considerations are not unimportant, but that they are not ultimate. Every person desires to be loved and accepted. They don’t principally desire wealth or emotional highs. What they want to know is that they are valued and that they belong.

Jesus told his disciples, “Look…you have seen how I have lived my life. I have loved the unlovable. I have healed the broken. I have crossed cultural lines, even with those most people consider morally deplorable. That included some of you. I have sought to serve rather than be served. Do that yourselves and when people are able to see the love that you offer, walls will come down.”

Jesus called us to his way of living, asking us to love recklessly, move toward other people we would otherwise hate, worry less about offending religious people, and think more about being his hands and feet.

Prayer
Jesus, you have called us to a radical journey. What you are asking us to do runs contrary to the culture and it runs contrary to the church. Teach us to love as you love and to serve as you serve, all to the glory of the Father. Amen.

John 13:34

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, so you also are to love one another.” -John 13:34

Even now, as Jesus felt the shadow of the cross shadow darkening, he continued to instruct his disciples in how to live as citizen of his kingdom. Remember, Jesus is not only our Savior, but teacher. John 13:34 captures the heart of Jesus regarding how to live.

Jesus gave them a “new” commandment: to love one another as he loved them, yet the command to love was not new, but ancient. In the Law of Moses (see Lev. 19), the Israelites were commanded to love their neighbors as themselves. So what could Jesus have meant by calling this a new command?

It seems the difference is in understanding how Jesus loved. First, he was largely indifferent to the divisions the religious leaders were so committed to highlighting. The scribes and Pharisees believed there were good people (them) and bad people (i.e., non-observant Jews, Gentiles, the infirm, women). Jesus loved those who didn’t fit the religious mold. His love was all inclusive.

His love also turned roles upside down. The economy of the kingdom of God was not give to get, but one built on true service by putting oneself lower. He called them to deny themselves by making much of others, practicing radical other-centeredness.

We are also called to his other-centered economy. He asks us to love the unlovable, to cross the borders of our comfort zone, and become conduits of his ever flowing river of love.

Prayer
Jesus, the command to love is the heart of your message, the absolute center of what you have called me to do yet I still live in sinful, self-centered ways. Forgive me for my selfishness, and by your Spirit, enable me to grow in love in ways that would not be possible apart from your power in me. Amen.